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Free Book: Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny) by Myka Hunt

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Milk, milk, lemonade
Around the corner, fudge is made

For generations, we’ve been writing poems about romance, love, and what happens in the bedroom. This is a book dedicated to ruining all those poems and every relationship you’ve ever had.

These poems are perverse and immature. They’re shocking, yet also sometimes what you secretly wish you could say.

Give these poems to your partner to ruin any Valentine’s Day!

Poems written from both the perspective of the man and the woman, these love poems will have you howling in laughter by the end of the book.

Download now for your free copy!

Links to download free book – Always double check the price before you download – sometimes there are price glitches or unexpected price changes.

This book is free from 10/10/2020 until 10/01/2037.

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About the Author
There once was a poet so witty,
Her pen name was the same as her kitty.
She needed some money,
So she tried to be funny.
She's crass, which some people find..

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Tasty Bits by Jon Sindell

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Tasty Bits by Jon Sindell

From Jon Sindell’s comic kitchen come forty-one morsels to please the palate of the most thoughtful fan of funny, from savory satires to pungent parodies to spicy spoofs to nutty narratives and more.

“Jon Sindell has read everything, thought about everything, laughed about everything, and shown us how to laugh too, just when we need it most. His crazily inspired and carefully crafted short humor pieces stand with the best that any contemporary American has done in this neglected and undervalued medium. I’ve often had the pleasure of publishing his work. Now all of us have the pleasure of seeing these pieces collected in one place for posterity. Posterity had better damn well appreciate it.” ~ Kurt Luchs, humorist, poet, and editor of The Big Jewel (2002-2019)

[Read more…] about Tasty Bits by Jon Sindell

Harry Watt Bounty Hunter by Rob Guy

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Harry Watt Bounty Hunter by Rob Guy

For Harry Watt, Bounty Hunter, simply doing what he’s told was never an option. When the best hydrologist on Earth goes AWOL after first helping himself to some company funds, Judge Headlock, Harry’s employer and nemesis, instructs him to bring back the runaway to face justice.

A trip to Mars onboard one of the new ships with the StrateLine Drive sounds like fun, but Harry soon discovers something stinks about this job, and it’s not one of his socks. He realizes he must first travel to Venus Station, but it’s not easy to be in two places at once. And getting framed for murder doesn’t help matters.

So with the help of his dead partner, an erstwhile assistant, and a host of lady friends, Harry embarks on a rip-roaring ride through the Solar System in a bid to prevent a Martian civil war, and maybe earn a few credits along the way.

[Read more…] about Harry Watt Bounty Hunter by Rob Guy

Free Book: Language in the Blood by Angela Lockwood

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Until the outbreak of the First World War, young Cameron Blair would have liked nothing better than to stay in Edinburgh and marry his childhood sweetheart. As the call to arms goes out, Cameron and his pals sign up to fight for their country. They are soon delivered into the nightmare of war, and there Cameron more than meets his maker.

The story follows Cameron as he comes to terms with his new ‘life’, from his first days as a hapless vampire in war-torn France to the glamorous modern day setting of the Côte d’Azur. Along the way, he develops a distinctive taste for the finer things in life: jewels, yachts, small dogs and champagne-infused human…

This is a dark comedy, not suitable for the faint-hearted. Cameron, our vampire, has an unusual diet.

Links to download free book – Always double check the price before you download – sometimes there are price glitches or unexpected price changes.

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Download Book at Nook/Barnes and Noble
Download Book at Kobo
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About the Author
Angela Lockwood-van der Klauw was born in the Netherlands. She learned her trade as a jeweller and gemmologist at the Vakschool Schoonhoven before moving to Edinburgh as an apprentice jeweller. There she met and later married her husband Adam. Angela ran her own jeweller's shop in Edinburgh for ten years before she and her husband moved to the south of France in 2011. Like Cameron, Angela prefers the climate there, but often thinks about the town she left behind and its people.

Cameron's story was born in the spring of 2013, a very wet spring during which Angela found herself climbing the walls, frustrated that she couldn't go out and have her usual long walks along the seafront. Seeing his wife's frustration, Adam suggested 'Why don't you write a book?'

Angela thought about it for a few days, then switched on her laptop and started writing. Language in the Blood (Book1) was her first book. She has since published three more titles, and published short stories in two independent author anthologies:'You're not Alone' and 'Holes'

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Bargain Book: Happy Hallowthankmas by Diana Estill

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HappyHallowthanksmasIn this collection of holiday stories you will find the award-winning author’s previously published Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween tales, plus three new essays. From garage sale presents nobody wants, to desserts no one should attempt to cook from scratch, Estill, author of Idiots and Children, dishes out her wacky brand of advice. If you’ve ever wondered why men and malls don’t mix or what your giftwrap reveals, you will find those answers inside.

Targeted Age Group: 20 to 80

Book Price: $0.99

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Link To Buy Happy Hallowthankmas on Amazon

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Bargain Book for 05/23/2015: Why Do All the Locals Think We’re Crazy? by Scott Finazzo

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81tuprYWtQLThis book is bargain priced from 05/23/2015 until 05/29/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Do you ever get the feeling that you are stuck in a rut? Routine can sneak up and take over your life without warning or apology. Thoughts of breaking out and escaping for a while become a distraction. Doing something fun and crazy begins to engulf your daydreams. Most of those thoughts are dismissed and cast aside as quickly as they arrived. But what if, just one time, you hold on to it? You step out of your comfort zone and go after that dream. It could turn out to be a failure or it could be legendary, but you’ll never know until you try. That is how it began for Scott Finazzo. Why Do All the Locals Think We’re Crazy? is the true story of three firemen from the Midwest who decided to break out of their mid-life routine and take their mischievous humor and their inability to back down from a challenge to new limits. Their kindred love for tropical locations, along with an insuppressible desire to be anywhere but Kansas, led them to extend their reach beyond the borders of the continental United States. They, with a combined total of zero boat building experience, constructed their own kayaks. Then they, with a combined total of zero sea kayaking experience, planned to spend a week paddling among the picturesque U.S. and British Virgin Islands. From day one twists, turns, setbacks, and obstacles hindered any romantic notions of a cinematic triumph over the confines of mundane suburbia and personal limitations. Yet, they took the trip, risked their reputations and lives, and managed to avoid becoming a pointless maritime tragedy. Through perseverance, humor, and rum they conquered the literal and metaphorical mountains they encountered: personal conflict, delays of every kind, kayak failure, separation, a night alone on an uninhabited island, and a rescue by a yacht chartered by drunken Dutch airline pilots. Why Do All the Locals Think We’re Crazy? chronicles the entire journey from idea inception through their return to the mainland. It combines adventure and humor with sprinkled in dime store philosophy that will leave you captivated, laughing, and glad to be on dry land.

Targeted Age Group: 18 – 60

Book Price: .99

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Link To Buy Why Do All the Locals Think We’re Crazy?

Bargain Book: Babies Come From…Where?!? Funny Happens When Kids Explain Pregnancy & Birth by Kristi Porter

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BabiesComeFromWhereDIGITALcoverThis book is bargain priced from 05/05/2015 until 05/12/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

NEW RELEASE!!
Babies Come From…Where?!? is the result of hundreds of interviews with children ages three to twelve, who were simply asked “Where do you think babies come from?” and allowed to answer freely, giving as much or as little explanation as they saw fit.

It began as part of a larger class project by teacher Kristi Porter and the children of Happi Kamper Child Care, located in North Muskegon, Michigan. Each child was to create an individual gift book for his or her parents and Babies Come From… Where?!? was simply to be one chapter in each child’s book.

Now, the individual answers of the Happi Kamper Kids, as well as those of the children at Community United Methodist Preschool, and the kids of Power Play Childcare have been combined. Their candid, uncensored and often hilarious answers may surprise you, or even make you laugh out loud as you get a quick glimpse into the amazing and intricate minds of some of the most delightful and fascinating children around. Enjoy!

Targeted Age Group: All Ages

Book Price: 0.99

Learn more about Kristi Porter
Link To Buy Babies Come From…Where?!? Funny Happens When Kids Explain Pregnancy & Birth

Bargain Book: Priceless Proverbs – Funny Happens When Kids Finish Famous Sayings by Kristi Porter

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PricelessProverbsCoverThis book is bargain priced from 04/19/2015 until 04/23/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Priceless Proverbs is the result of hundreds of interviews with young children ages three to twelve, who were presented with the first half of a famous saying or well-known proverb and then asked to finish it themselves. Their candid and oftentimes exquisite answers, combined with their crayon illustrations, have now been made available for all to enjoy, in this little collection called… Priceless Proverbs.

Targeted Age Group: All Ages

Book Price: 0.99

Learn more about Kristi Porter
Link To Buy Priceless Proverbs – Funny Happens When Kids Finish Famous Sayings