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Free Book: Roses Are Red (Poems That Will Make You Thorny) by Myka Hunt

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Milk, milk, lemonade
Around the corner, fudge is made

For generations, we’ve been writing poems about romance, love, and what happens in the bedroom. This is a book dedicated to ruining all those poems and every relationship you’ve ever had.

These poems are perverse and immature. They’re shocking, yet also sometimes what you secretly wish you could say.

Give these poems to your partner to ruin any Valentine’s Day!

Poems written from both the perspective of the man and the woman, these love poems will have you howling in laughter by the end of the book.

Download now for your free copy!

Links to download free book – Always double check the price before you download – sometimes there are price glitches or unexpected price changes.

This book is free from 10/10/2020 until 10/01/2037.

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About the Author
There once was a poet so witty,
Her pen name was the same as her kitty.
She needed some money,
So she tried to be funny.
She's crass, which some people find..

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Filed Under: *PermaFree Books, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: #Poetry, funny, jokes, Limericks, Love & Romance, Marriage, Myka Hunt, poems

Free Book: Professor Birdsong’s Dumbest Thieves, Thugs & Rogues by Leonard Birdsong

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A humor book comprised of over 100 short and funny stories about dumb criminals from around the world who are thieves, thugs or rogues.

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About the Author
Leonard Birdsong is a Law Professor who lives and teaches in Florida. He is a Harvard Law School graduate, a former diplomat and a former federal prosecutor.

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Filed Under: *Free Books - Limited Time, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: Dumb Criminal Stories, Leonard Birdsong's Dumbest Criminals, Stupid Criminals

Free Book: Funny You Should Ask by Lill Hawkins

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funnyyoushouldask
If Erma Bombeck had homeschooled her kids in Maine, she could have written this book. Drifts of doom. Frost heaves from Hades. Maine isn’t for the fainthearted.

Luckily, Lill, Geekdaddy, Son and Daughter are usually able to overcome almost anything – even lovesick porcupines and hunters that shoot at anything with four legs, including lawn furniture – without losing their senses of humor.

Will Geekdaddy manage to survive being decaffeinated? Will his purple union boxers fade to pink in the washer? Why did a psychiatrist mistake him for a patient at the mental health institution where he works, simply because he was talking to his tomato plant?

Did Lill really see a Kiwi near the “Caution, Blind Chicken!” sign? Does Daughter really have Dramatic Fever or is it a case of the Instamatic Flu?

For the answers to these questions and many more, download the first book in the Life Without a Field Guide series, free.

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About the Author
I believe it was my first boyfriend who told me, “You think funny.” He’s also the one who said, “You think too much.” He was right about the first pronouncement, but I didn’t think too much of him after the second one. Well, yeah, I do think funny. Can’t help it. Wired that way. No matter how dire the situation or how depressed I get there have only been a few times in my life when my mind hasn’t seen the humor in my plights.

Most of the writing in my first three books came from the years that we unschooled. A few people have asked me if I’ll still write now that both of my kids are in college and mostly out of the house. (One wonders if they’ve forgotten that I’ve also had Geekdaddy to write about for 36 years. He hasn’t moved out. Yet.)

Yes, I’ll still write, because I’m a writer. I’m also as curious as a barnful of cats. From plotting polecats to why you shouldn’t pet an armadillo without gloves on, there are so many eclectic subjects that attract my interest. My kids are launched, but my writing spark isn’t quenched, and I’m not ready to sink into geezerdom. Crow’s Feet and Magpie Mind, that’s me. Coincidentally, that’s the name of the book I’m working on now.

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Filed Under: *PermaFree Books, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: funny books, homeschooling humor, humor, lill hawkins, Maine humor, parenting humor

Bargain Book: Election 2016: Contracting Primary Fever by A.D. Walker

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primaryfever_coverThe 2016 U.S. Presidential campaign is in full swing, and many of the things candidates are saying and doing on the campaign trail have caused both shock and amusement among voters at home.

This political humor themed e-book takes a silly, satirical look at some of the major players on the right-wing side of the primary campaign, imagining some of their thoughts on their election prospects, as well as a debate between several of them as they try to convince the American people they would make the best president.

Names have been changed (just slightly) to protect the not-so-innocent, but anybody who has watched the news in the last year will easily recognize this crazy cast of political characters.

Targeted Age Group: 18-85

Book Price: $2.99

Links to buy book: (Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.)

Link To Buy Election 2016: Contracting Primary Fever on Amazon

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Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: ad walker, clinton, democrat, political humor, primary, republican, satire, trump

Bargain Book: Happy Hallowthankmas by Diana Estill

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HappyHallowthanksmasIn this collection of holiday stories you will find the award-winning author’s previously published Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Halloween tales, plus three new essays. From garage sale presents nobody wants, to desserts no one should attempt to cook from scratch, Estill, author of Idiots and Children, dishes out her wacky brand of advice. If you’ve ever wondered why men and malls don’t mix or what your giftwrap reveals, you will find those answers inside.

Targeted Age Group: 20 to 80

Book Price: $0.99

Links to buy book: (Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.)

Link To Buy Happy Hallowthankmas on Amazon

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Filed Under: *99 cent books*, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: Christmas., Diana Estill, family humor, funny, holiday stories, humorous, Thanksgiving

Bargain Book: Babies Come From…Where?!? Funny Happens When Kids Explain Pregnancy & Birth by Kristi Porter

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BabiesComeFromWhereDIGITALcoverThis book is bargain priced from 05/05/2015 until 05/12/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

NEW RELEASE!!
Babies Come From…Where?!? is the result of hundreds of interviews with children ages three to twelve, who were simply asked “Where do you think babies come from?” and allowed to answer freely, giving as much or as little explanation as they saw fit.

It began as part of a larger class project by teacher Kristi Porter and the children of Happi Kamper Child Care, located in North Muskegon, Michigan. Each child was to create an individual gift book for his or her parents and Babies Come From… Where?!? was simply to be one chapter in each child’s book.

Now, the individual answers of the Happi Kamper Kids, as well as those of the children at Community United Methodist Preschool, and the kids of Power Play Childcare have been combined. Their candid, uncensored and often hilarious answers may surprise you, or even make you laugh out loud as you get a quick glimpse into the amazing and intricate minds of some of the most delightful and fascinating children around. Enjoy!

Targeted Age Group: All Ages

Book Price: 0.99

Learn more about Kristi Porter
Link To Buy Babies Come From…Where?!? Funny Happens When Kids Explain Pregnancy & Birth

Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: funny, kid quotes, kids say the darndest things, Kristi Porter, Parenting, pregnancy and birth, series, where babies come from

Bargain Book: Priceless Proverbs – Funny Happens When Kids Finish Famous Sayings by Kristi Porter

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PricelessProverbsCoverThis book is bargain priced from 04/19/2015 until 04/23/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Priceless Proverbs is the result of hundreds of interviews with young children ages three to twelve, who were presented with the first half of a famous saying or well-known proverb and then asked to finish it themselves. Their candid and oftentimes exquisite answers, combined with their crayon illustrations, have now been made available for all to enjoy, in this little collection called… Priceless Proverbs.

Targeted Age Group: All Ages

Book Price: 0.99

Learn more about Kristi Porter
Link To Buy Priceless Proverbs – Funny Happens When Kids Finish Famous Sayings

Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: funny, humor, kids, Kristi Porter, non-fiction, proverbs

Bargain Book for 03/21/2015: Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer by Vicki Lesage

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confessions-of-a-paris-potty-trainerThis book is bargain priced from 03/21/2015 until 03/27/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Diapers, tantrums, and French bureaucracy—the crazy life of an American mom in Paris.

Think French parenting is easy? Think again! Former party girl Vicki trades wine bottles for baby bottles, as this sassy mommy of two navigates the beautiful, yet infuriating, city of Paris.

How does she steer a stroller around piles of dog poop? Or find time for French administration between breastfeeding and business meetings? And will she ever lose the pregnancy weight with croissants staring at her from every street corner?

This humorous motherhood memoir will have you laughing, crying, and wiping up drool right alongside Vicki as she and her ever-patient French husband raise two children in the City of Light.

Targeted Age Group: all

Book Price: 0.99
Link To Buy Bargain Book
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Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: american in paris, mom humor, mom in paris, paris life, vicki lesage

Bargain Book: No Thanks, Mommy, I Peed Yesterday by Sandy Appleyard

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NoThanksMommyIPeedYesterdayCheck book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Do you have kids? Do you sometimes want to send them to their bedroom until puberty? And other times, do you want to hug them until they burst?

What about those moments when they say something so innocent and incredibly cute or hilarious that you wish you had a pen and paper so you could remember it?

Well, that’s exactly what I did. My children have given my husband and I so many gifts, but the most precious has been laughter. I made a record of each funny or cute thing that they said since the moment they could speak.

It’s all here in this short yet unforgettable ‘Kids Say The Darndest Things’ style memoir.

No thanks, Mommy, I peed yesterday is a witty, side-splittingly funny comedy that can be enjoyed by both young and old.

Targeted Age Group: grade 2 and up

Book Price: 2.99

Learn more about Sandy Appleyard
Link To Buy No Thanks, Mommy, I Peed Yesterday

Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: comedy, diary, humour, Memoir

Bargain Book for 02/10/2015: Done With Men by Shuchi Singh Kalra

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donewithmenThis book is bargain priced from 02/10/2015 until 02/13/2015

What is a girl to do when all the men showing up in her life are the wrong kind, until she’s has had it with the entire male species!

Done With Men – Shuchi Singh Kalra’s debut work – is a heart-warming romantic comedy about relationships and how love can appear in the most unexpected places. If you are someone who enjoys books by Sophie Kinsella, Helen Fielding and Jill Mansell, you do not want to miss this book!

Travel journo, Kairavi Krishna (Kay) has had it with men. After a series of disasters (losers, philanderers, leeches and possessive psychos), she is tempted to walk out on the prospect of ever finding love. But just when Kay is Done With Men, she meets Mr. Right.

Accompanied by her best friend and flat-mate Baani, she sets off for Goa, hoping to get away from her miserable love life and vowing to stay clear of the male species. Goa however, has a host of surprises in store for her. Ricky, her pesky ex-boyfriend, is busy painting the town red with his hot new girlfriend. Now what is poor Kay to do, other than overdose on vodka, smoke pot, get an outrageous tattoo and fall off the hotel balcony?

She wakes up in the hospital to the tender ministrations of Dr. Vivian D’Mello-young, suave and handsome as hell. Will Kay stick to her guns or will she fall for his ridiculously sexy charms? And what’s up with the mixed signals he’s giving out?

Targeted Age Group: 16+

Book Price: $0.99
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Filed Under: *Bargain Books Under $3, Humor - Nonfiction Tagged With: Romantic comedy

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