Tasty Bits by Jon Sindell
From Jon Sindell’s comic kitchen come forty-one morsels to please the palate of the most thoughtful fan of funny, from savory satires to pungent parodies to spicy spoofs to nutty narratives and more.
“Jon Sindell has read everything, thought about everything, laughed about everything, and shown us how to laugh too, just when we need it most. His crazily inspired and carefully crafted short humor pieces stand with the best that any contemporary American has done in this neglected and undervalued medium. I’ve often had the pleasure of publishing his work. Now all of us have the pleasure of seeing these pieces collected in one place for posterity. Posterity had better damn well appreciate it.” ~ Kurt Luchs, humorist, poet, and editor of The Big Jewel (2002-2019)
Targeted Age Group:: 15 and up
Heat/Violence Level: Heat Level 1 – G Rated Clean Read
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
The book inspired itself, for I realized after several dozen of my short humor pieces were published in magazines that I ought to collect them in one place. To be more serious—humor is serious business, after all—I feel, with apologies to Macbeth, that humor is the finest balm of hurt minds, the indispensable ingredient that makes life bearable and, what is more, fun. I've been inspired by the humor of P.G. Wodehouse most of all, but I've been inspired as well by Mark Twain and Jack Benny, to whom this collection is dedicated. Cutting edge, I know! And, of course, the great Abraham Lincoln ("If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?")
How Did You Come up With Your Characters?
The characters in this collection of forty-one humor bits come from all walks of life, and from none; from history, and my imagination; from literature, and other forms of culture. Show me a person who cannot be the subject of humor, whether expressed in an affectionate grin, an ironic wink, or a satirical jab, and I'll show you a person who doesn't exist—the premise, I think, of the sci-fi novel I will not write.
Book Sample
from Book-Title Outtakes:
Doubleplusgood Futuristic Narrative by George Orwell
Holden Caulfield’s Gnarliest Week Ever by J.D. Salinger
from Movie-Line Outtakes:
Great! One ring to rule them all—and in the darkness I can’t find it! ~ The Lord of the Rings
Forget burritos, Jake. It’s Chinatown.
from "A Remembrance of Tom by His Longtime Companion, An English Bulldog Named Wally" ~
Impelled by the necessity of starting somewhere, I begin with the observation that Tom was fond of wearing a particular t-shirt. This faded and frayed garment was adorned with an amateurish cartoon depiction of a canine of some indeterminate and distinctly inferior breed. The image was situated above the prayer, “May I be the man my dog believes me to be.”
This sentiment was ever a puzzle to me. To the limited extent that I thought of Tom, I thought of him as a provider of shelter, exercise, warmth, and sustenance, a role he discharged in such a satisfactory manner that I rarely experienced the urge to tear his throat out as he slept.
from "Sir Rodney of Dangerfields Takes The Mic" ~
A hey and a ho and a hey nonny no, how ya doin’, how ya doin’? Nice crowd, lovely crowd, beautiful crowd—zounds, now I know why they call `em groundlings! I’ve seen ground mutton fairer than these faces!
But I should talk, I should talk! Oh I’m ugly, very ugly. By the rood I’m an ugly knave. Even as a child I was ugly. One look at me and Oberon tells Titania, “On second thought, you can keep the changeling!” I tell ya, none accordeth me respect.
from Literary Outtakes:
And so we beat on, like boats against the current, borne ceaselessly into seasickness.
~ Nick Carraway, The Great Gatsby
Call me, Ishmael! I miss you big time! ~ Moby Dick
from "Zee Cabbage Rules" ~
When your name is Dave Von Hoffenschnitzenberger, people always ask: "Why don’t you just shorten your name, man?"
And I reply: “Shorten it, dude? We lengthened it, man. From Hoffman.”
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