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Free Book: The Subway Is for Unicorns: A Postmodern, Magical Realist, Sacrilegious Comedy, Adventure, and Romance by Lisa VanZandt by Lisa Zoetewey

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It’s the end times.

God is on vacation in Bermuda.

Jesus aka Bill is a clown.

Lisa is a mental patient with schizoaffective disorder, a stripper, an ascended master, President of the United States, Satan’s ex-wife, God’s replacement, and the author of this book. She’s got the hots for Jesus.

Satan is Santa Claus and is trying to gain dominion over the world, if Lisa doesn’t do it first.

Join Lisa and Jesus and their off and on romance as they slay jabberwockies, seek enlightenment, save the souls in hell, and try to stop Satan from gaining dominion.

The stakes are high. If Lisa and Jesus fail to stop Satan, God will destroy the world. If they succeed, they could lose each other.

This novella blends the author’s real delusions, experiences, and imagination to create a magical world of shifting realities filled with unicorns, angels, leprechauns, clowns, vampires, ascended masters, Martians, bag ladies, jabberwockies and much more.

Be transported to the heights of craziness in this hilarious and sexy comedy, adventure, and romance.

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About the Author
Lisa VanZandt is a not-so-crazy, crazy forty-something woman living in Michigan with her mom. She’s a kind-of-pudgy hottie who loves to eat mostly vegetarian food. She spent most of the last six years working for a Christian organization and, surprising as it may seem, fit in quite well. Now she doesn’t really do anything besides read, write, meditate, crochet, practice EFT, take walks, and contemplate self-publishing and freelance editing as a possible career. The Subway Is for Unicorns, which she wrote eight years ago, is her first book. She plans to write a sequel. She also has some children’s stories and poetry she plans to self-publish under different pen names.

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Karass by Beca Lewis

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Karass by Beca Lewis

IN THE FOREST, THEIR FUTURE WAITS…

They suspected that it was true, but until Mira started seeing things that weren’t there, Sarah and her friends were content to let it remain a mystery. Now they must fulfill the promise they made before birth and reveal the magic of other dimensions. But first, they have to find each other and outwit those that don’t want them to know the great secret, one that will transform their lives and the future of the earth.

Connections and secrets are waiting to be revealed. Are Sarah and her friends strong enough to meet their fate?

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Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power by Roger B. Burt

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Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power by Roger B. Burt

Earth is entering a frightening and challenging era. Through fiction, Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called-Women in Power explores the future as it might be. We cannot know where the empowerment of women may lead us. But the prospects of our future with their empowerment are intriguing to explore.

And so our fictional adventure begins. Our earth mother, Gaia, foresaw a definitive epoch when the survival of humankind and her beautiful blue planet would be at issue. That day is upon us. Earth is enveloped in environmental and social crises. Unless humankind serves as stewards for Earth and themselves the planet may be despoiled.

Gaia could not sit by and observe the destruction of her Earth and the clever beings she found intriguing. This is the story of the gifted population of mermaid women she reserved in the sea who are dedicated to safeguarding the future of humankind and Earth.

Gaia Speaks
You used to adore me. You took my bounty gratefully and before my loving sight developed your skills as will a child in the sight of mother. You worshipped me and my fruitfulness. I tested you with adversity which made you strong. But in time you selfishly saw Earth’s bounty as your due. You now have a choice between stewardship or devastation.

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Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called by Roger B. Burt

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Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called by Roger B. Burt

Gaia’s Majesty-Mission Called: Women in Power is the first book in the Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy. It opens in the present day in a real world context. A fantasy element is revealed when we learn about a hidden population which has a mission of great importance for our future.

Wisely Gaia reserved a gifted population of women dedicated to safeguarding the future of humankind and Earth. The women called Progenitors lived in the sea and could transform to live on the land if they chose. Some of them came to land to form families and called themselves Primals. Among them were a defense force of women called the Andromeda. Collectively these people were called Tethyans.

Gaia foresaw a definitive epoch which is now upon us. Our planet is enveloped in environmental and social crises. Unless humankind serves as stewards for Earth and ourselves we may live on a despoiled planet as people held in bondage by a wealthy class of plutocrats. The empowerment of women holds the key to our future.

Gaia’s Majesty Trilogy explores if Gaia’s preparations will succeed. Is this story a myth, or like so many myths, does it reside on the cusp of reality?

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Descendant by Nichole Giles

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Descendant_Kindle_FrontDescendant by Nichole Giles

Seventeen-year-old Abigail Johnson is Gifted.

Blessed—or cursed—with Sight and Healing, Abby lives an unsettled life, moving from place to place and staying one step ahead of the darkness that hunts her. When she arrives in Jackson, Wyoming, she is desperate to maintain the illusion of normalcy, but she is plagued with visions of past lives mixed with frightening glimpses of her future. Then she meets Kye, a mysterious boy who seems so achingly familiar that Abby is drawn to him like he’s a missing piece of her own soul.

Before Abby can discover the reason for her feelings toward Kye, the darkness catches up to her and she is forced to flee again. But this time she’s not just running. She is fighting back with Kye at her side, and it’s not just Abby’s life at stake.

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Bargain Book: The Pharaoh’s Builders by Heather Perrywinkle Smith

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ThePharaohsBuildersThe Pharaoh’s Builders, a novel…In the Earth’s unbridled joy of prolific living, communion and oneness; a possibility sparks into existence. Ten thousand years ago in Egypt, before what we know of recorded history there was a different kind of Pharaoh. Though his rule was absolute, he and those he surrounded himself with not only defied conventionality, they defied reality. His builder Angyet has earned the position of architect of the largest structure ever conceived in a monumental pyramid. Her skill goes beyond this task as she is also an architect of reality itself. She is able to create and alter anything by request of the molecules and having connection as oneness with all things.
Meet Bilal, born a slave yet somehow unbroken and undeterred, he reaches for the beauty of the oneness even in the darkness that is his everyday life. Oneness itself is conspiring to gather an unlikely group of those with the capacity for communion, who are audacious and brave enough to question their reality and strive for the creation of a future the world has never known. The Pharaoh’s Builders weaves together an engaging story revealing the magic and beauty hidden in all things and the unlikely choices for kindness in a world most often ugly with the cruelty of those willing to kill for a position of power.

Targeted Age Group: 12-50

Book Price: 2.99

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Bargain Book for 06/04/2015: Close to Destiny by Adria J. Cimino

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close-to-destiny-coverThis book is bargain priced from 06/04/2015 until 06/10/2015 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

Does déjà vu have a deeper meaning?

A puzzling gift from a stranger in a hat shop. Whisperings and footsteps in a dim luxury hotel. Dreams that transport to elegant parties where champagne flows like water. Kat is both frightened and intrigued by the events that have plagued her since she arrived in London, in a final effort to save herself from anorexia and recover from her latest suicide attempt.

Most disturbing is an encounter with a mysterious woman who introduces Kat to Will. And this lovely messenger has information she desperately wants to share with Kat: an incident from more than a century ago that could transform Kat’s future. But will Kat listen?

A magical realism story of the role of destiny in life… and of righting the wrongs of the past.

Targeted Age Group: +18

Book Price: $0.99

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Bargain Book: Hugh Howey Lives by Daniel Arthur Smith

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01_title500This book is bargain priced from 05/12/2015 until 05/04/2020 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

In 2174 authors are obsolete. With the exception of a few human ‘Author’ titles printed in the small basement and back room Libraries, all stories are created by the Artificial Intelligence of the Archive. Most believe the ‘Authors’ are only brands to lure people into spending their credits on print. One woman believes that one of them, author Hugh Howey, is real, and still alive. Her Librarian feeds her belief that Hugh Howey is still sailing around the world, uploading his work to the Archive. Convinced she has found clues in his stories as to where he now resides, she and her girlfriend sail to an island, where she believes Hugh Howey lives.

Targeted Age Group: 16+

Book Price: 1.99

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Bargain Book for 05/11/2015: Agroland by Daniel Arthur Smith

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agrolandkindlenewThis book is bargain priced from 05/11/2015 until 05/18/2020 Check book price before you buy, as prices can change due to expiration of the sale or other technical issues.

In a desolate desert, members of an isolated agricultural station discover a stranger, dehydrated, delirious, and near death from exposure. His weak frame is thin, desiccated. His blistered flesh is wooden, and in his madness, a faint raspy chant slips from his near lipless mouth, “So many, not enough. So many, not enough.”

Targeted Age Group: 16+

Book Price: 1.99

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Bargain Book for 12/08/2014: Unfortunates (Unfortunate Series, Book #1) by Lillian Graves

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unfortunates2This book is bargain priced from 12/08/2014 until 12/12/2014

Seventeen-year-old Vanessa is about to get a new life—whether she wants one or not. With a best friend keeping a crazy big secret from her and her parents rubbing their perfect high school love story in her rocky relationship’s face, she doesn’t have any more cares to give. So when Adam, a ghost who calls himself an Unfortunate, decides to introduce himself in the middle of an argument with her boyfriend, she is less than impressed.

If it wasn’t for his persistence and her own guilt, she would’ve continued ignoring him until he went away. Upon talking to him, Adam explains he died an unfortunate death six years ago and Vanessa is his Match – the one who can help him earn his second chance at life by committing random acts of kindness.

Vanessa is reluctant to help a ghost who may just be in her head. However, if she succeeds in treating others with kindness, Adam will be reborn in time to bring her to prom. If she remains stuck in her ways, he won’t live to see another day.

Targeted Age Group: Young Adult, New Adult

Book Price: 0.99
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