This book is bargain priced from 01/06/2014 until 12/31/2014
Martifius was a wizard. A very bored wizard. Bored, and thoroughly fed up with his lot. His life as a wizard had just not panned out the way he had been expecting when he first learned of his talent all those years ago. His dream of visiting mysterious and magnificent far-off worlds and doing great and glorious deeds had long since been shattered into a billion tiny pieces of insignificant tedium. His expectation of becoming a mystical and mythical hero for children to sing songs about long after his days had really not been realised at all. His existence had been utterly and interminably dull for a very long time, and his powerful and merciless fraternity made livening it up pretty much impossible. Still, at least the pay was good!
A simple, humorous tale about one wizard and all that has gone wrong with his life, with wizarding in general, and with the galactic transport industry.
Targeted Age Group: 13+
Book Price: $1.49
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T.C. Filburn loves words. He loves the way they can be carefully and randomly placed, twisted and turned around, or thrown at the floor then picked up again in shattered bits to be rearranged into brand new forms. He loves the way the great masters craft with them; the way William Shakespeare brought language to a whole new level for the world; the way W.S. Gilbert used the language of law to twist his topsy-turvy world of madness; the way H.P. Lovecraft created whole worlds of madness in the mind of the reader; the way David Eddings just plain created entire new worlds. He’d like to think that he can compare himself to none of these all too worthy gentlemen.
He has used words many times in his life, of course, generally in the context of the profound mundanity of work-based reports, or in probably pointless musings on internet fora on subjects from politics and dogs (sometimes at the same time) to music festivals, or just in the tedious but occasionally necessary business of having to hold conversations with other human beings. He doesn’t think he’s used them all up yet, though, and it is this that has led him to put black pixel to white pixel (presumably the modern equivalent of ‘pen to paper’) to try to create something hopefully vaguely interesting with them.
For encouraging him to take such a wild and globular step, he’d like to thank his family (blood and non-blood), his dogs (past and present), his friends (real or imagined), his colleagues (esteemed or otherwise) and his agent. He don’t have an agent, but he’s going to thank him (or her – far be it for him to prejudge an issue of such personal importance to the incumbent) in advance just in case it should ever become necessary. Yes, he does realise that ‘globular’ doesn’t really fit in that context, but it’s such an inherently splendid word that he believes its use is almost always fully justified, no matter what may be its situation of employment.
If all of this excessive drivel hasn’t yet irritated you to the point of throwing something heavy and/or pointy at your computer screen (or whatever medium, or in this day and age possibly very small, you are wasting and abusing by displaying it for your idle perusal), perhaps you should consider giving his work a try – you never know, you might actually enjoy it.